On my first gear....

Feel that im moving faster at work le... mentally or the "sales feel".. haha... how shud i explain... the feeling that u know u will at least close something lor... i was doing a personal review on my prospects and funnel for this mth... i reckon that most of them are very potential and im convinced by my own proposal.. now is like 'waiting time' for them to nod or shake their heads lor...

did a revamp on my blog... cause a bit sian to see the previous one... add my wish list... since i reckon that if i work harder here, i would be earning slightly more, i start to move towards the things i always wanted to get.. haha...

anyway, its getting late... tmr still got training in the morning, and appts in the afternoon... am thinking of going to see a doc tomorrow... not feeling well...

So fast... new year coming le... hope my luck will change for the better... Like Nat say... i must first think that im lucky... Im trying to.. but i dunno how to feel that way... hmmmmm

Finally....

A long long break.. thou i never take any leave... but still.. no customers wanna c me ma... so do some book keeping in the office.. also to think of the prospects i going to close for the next month. Hopefully everything goes smoothly and i get to close the big cases next month... i count already.... once i manage to close 2 of the deals, i should be safe....

hmmm... and once i get the comm.. haha... i plan to go on a holiday... short trip ba... hehe... hong kong maybe... cause i promise alvin that we will go to the disney together...

well well... i know i jus need to tahan a bit more.. den i should be alright le... pray hard...

Sigh Sigh Sigh.. Suay Like Bloody Hell

I tell u... i am cursed to sell this model of this machine 4730!



2 times i sell this machine ar.. 2 times the 2 different companies the finance fail... either one have bounce chq or company used to owe a lot of money and thereafter kana bought.. and the new company open the company using $2 damn bucks!! fucking hell...



and now i am at the risk of not hitting my target at all!! bloody hell..



and now i am damn stress lor... how now brown cow?



yest celebrate fang bd... haha... food was good.. love the gathering... but felt a bit guilty for a last min gift.. honestly... i actually ordered a dozen of cup cakes... but.... they cannot rush the order... :( show u the cakes next time... haha... my initial intention was to do that... and deliver with the flowers... but end up the lady tell me she cannot get it done in time... :(

Sorry Fang...

So i went to her blog to check it out, and decided to get her a organiser at first... went to 3 shopping centres... but nothing caught my eye... i mean... i was quite choosy la... (according to my colleague who was with me... haha)... of coz la! for my buddy lei! End of the day, i went to taka to get a pen for her.. AGAIN.. i was quite picky.. i know mont blanc are famous brands for pens.. but i recall taka dept having a pen dept... thou the names are not so familiar, but i know its good brands... and i was like... "do u have ladies' pen?" and the folks was looking at each other... and i added "pink color pls?" haha... yeah, got pink pens, but so plain... den i was like.... ARGHHH...

Knowing that im very particular about fang's present.. i called her earlier to tell her that i might not get her pressie in time... i was thinking... if i cant get something i think suits her, i also cannot anyhow buy.. i rather buy more time from her to get something for her..

Esp now that i left OC, i always hope that we can spend some time together.. chat up or even for a smoke at the carpark... i miss the times buying ribena for her and the lunch times.. also those days when shes so pissed at work and i would go over to hub to calm her down... Shes a good bud of mine, i dun wanna drift apart due to change of job...

Anyway Fang!! Hope u had great fun... I Miss U Gal!

Read this...

Dear All,

I would like to remind you again that December is a very very short month. We are closing our accounts on 19th December 2007. ie. 19th will be the last day for any billing to happen. HP factory will shut down from 17th onwards till the end of the year.

Therefore, effectively, you have from tomorrow… the 6th till 14th to get your sales in. That’s just 7 working days more. If we have stock in hand, you have 10 working days more.

I have reiterated the importance of keeping your funnel consistently healthy & strong to see you through a month like this one. Dec, Jan & Feb will not be easy months.

I don’t wish to see anyone of you fail this month.

Please get things moving - fast.

Warmest Regards,


The above email that u jus read is actually from my boss boss... (big boss la)... cannot believe it... i am getting stresser and stresser... and guess what? am now facing the 4 walls in my office now trying to think of a way to solve this major problem - my number... haha.. i hope to close something somehow by this week... and i am trying to cheong as fast as i can...

My direct boss will be back next monday and i will be getting a lot a lot of nagging frm him... sigh... i wonder how.. i wonder why... sigh... i think ah... i need to reflect on myself liao....

God.. Ti Gong.. whoever up there that i blessing me ar.. make sure i close something and not fail anyone who has expectations in me....

POR PI HOCK KI

10 more days...

Im left with 10 days to hit my target.. haha... guess what? every of my prospect is still mid way.. i have no prob adding in "sense of urgency" to my customers.... but somehow they are getting from slow to slower!! Haha... and on top of that, i must be able to handle the rejections well... sigh... All the companies im gg for now are rather small la, so they dun really look into service, quality and cost effectiveness... what they wan is.. CHEAP! (oh nonsense!!)

Anyway, fang's birthday is coming... quite shang nao jing... cause she seems to have everything le lei.. haha... went to her blog to take a look, she got note some stuff down... but i was thinking to get her something she will remember de la... i mean... not really for keepsake cause she got limited space to display and for accessories.. she has plenty... so i tot of getting something which will make her remember de la... i alr order liao.. but now is to see if it can be done in time... Im like... so damn bloody busy and stressed up with work... sigh...

Called wei wei and zhen to check what they buying... haha.. and i realise they are having the small prob as me!! hahahahaha... see fang!! u are very precious to us hor... cannot anyhow buy de... must think and make sure u will like de... kekekeke...

ok la... gtg back to work le... yawns...

DRIVING TEST NEXT FRI!! (Sure fail de.... o.O'")

Stress but Feel Slow

Sigh.. i gotta hit $38k of sales in 11 days.. sigh.. how can that be possible lei? Hmm... all my customers all holiday mood... my numbers also holiday mood... Sigh......

Fortune Telling...

Went for my appts and got a friend to pick me up and send me back to my office... and we decided to see fortune teller.. haha... and guess what? Shes damn accurate.. she talk about my life, my current situation and my career... Sigh... i realise that my husband is getting from bad to worse... unfortunately, i have reach the ultimate limit of tolerance in him. I guess the very next step im gonna take is not gonna be very happening... and its not funny anymore....

But i worry about the place i would be staying next -- back home.

That place is like a slow torture, slow death kinda environment... and most pple stays there will choose to be deaf than mute... due to my mom's constant nagging, its hard to believe that anyone can walk out of that place alive.... haha... im lucky, i simply escaped...

so how? whats life after him? even if i wanna proceed, the money spend?

Finally its time to blog again!

sigh... ever since i started working in adventus, i dun seem to have enough time. Honestly, this job is more challenging than the rest of the banking jobs i have taken... maybe cause this is a whole new industry that i have never been to... so everything seems so new to me...

its no longer like "adding ur knowledge to ur current ones".. its like everyday im learning new stuff... im in charge of pandan area... west coast side de la... well, the companies are rather small, but its easier for me... pantech building is like my second home... i seem to know how to get arnd there very well..

tired la... everyday meet cust, do up proposals den meet the cust to pass them... and not all deals can be done... and i have several companies that are still pending for me to get their proposals done. sad lei.. there are about 10 of them.. and all are my $$... its like once i give them proposal, i can follow up liao.. den i no need search for new cust everyday... haha...

but seriously, its my first time which i do not laze arnd... everyday i meet custs, everyday i work late... and i still think that i am not productive enough... haha...

i wanna keep updating my blog every now and then... and not have such a big gap liao... haha

anyway, wa.. this company is small, but politics, scandals, gossips are plenty.... and im not getting involved in the gossip or political part... i tell u... its so so complicated... if banking industry, i understand.... but this is a growing company... things like that shudnt have even exist man...

my boss is good... althou his a little naggy, egoist, prideful... but seriously, his a nice guy who is willing to help his folks... but i realise nowadays he is getting a little more emotional... as in, mixing emotions with work... his a capable man... decisive, thinker & do-er person.. of coz his got his flaws.. but i think its still ok...

but unfortunately his got smart sales pple under him who betrays him, and hurts him... i can see his not giving as much as he can give... if his folks are willing to die for him, he will give them double of what he can...

still, his protective self makes me wary of him too... i dunno if one day he will turn and bite or not... haha

anyway, i think im loving this job.. i hope i can start to see my bucks coming in.... hee hee...

Blessing in disguise?

Finally i got out of the pox.. went to the doc... doc say i fully recover.. the police wont catch me le... haha.. i jus gotta know that if u go out with pox, police will catch de... haha!!

Alright... i got a job offer at a govt stat board or some subsidiary company la... advertising outdoor sales... sounds interesting thou... i got a biz to run... got my bazaars running too... now... if i take this job offer... can i managed? i mean... im running outdoor, for sure i can meet all the customers be it my own biz or my job... pros and cons.. pros.. of coz the money part... cons... what if my boss ask me do ot? den what if i have to stay office de? hmm.... i dunno lei...

what shud i do?

Hope

Was down with chicken pox for 2 weeks... Im glad i can go back and work hard next wed... Jus 3 days more... i will continue to work hard for what i believe...

Was watching this show "1 litre of tears".. talking about a true story of a gal who has a incurrable disease and how she fought on, and the probs she faces, and the things she have to give up even no matter how much she wanted it... And later passed away at the age of 25... She made me realise the importance of living, fighting on and how precious time is...

I know i have many probs now... I tried sitting down the entire day thinking of the solutions, but i often get confused, lost and discouraged, and later stopped to think so as not to make myself even more sad... But i remember someone told me to face probs and not to avoid them. I guess its time i write them down, paste them right in front of me, and solve them one by one...

Even if i cannot think of all the probs, but whenever i remember them, i will write them down, and solve them at the quickest time possible... I believe, one day, there will be no more post-it paper on the wall, and i can lead my life happily...

I need to have faith in myself, and i seek for peace in my mind... I pray for peace...

Now that i fall, i need to stand up as soon as i can, cause time is running out... I need to make it

Aja!

My Enemy, My War

Since this blog is not read by many... I should write you guys a story.... I was very political when i was working back in 2000, and thru all these polictics, i made friends, enemies and lessons. I told myself to lead a simple life, doing simple jobs... And i wont be angry with anyone who stabs me from the back cause i believed in karma.

But just recently, i was stabbed by this lady whom i respected since the first day i worked with her... But she's the person who affected my biz, my life, my friends....

Characters in story...

Ms A = a lady who i respected a lot
Mr B = a very old friend who i would choose to help than to sit back and not bother
Mr C = his brother, a person would think before he acts
Mr D = ex colleague who i worked with, well respect by others
and... ME

It happened recently when Mr C talk to me about work, and the polictics and stuff happening in his biz, and he warned me to be wary of Ms A who has been speaking ill of me to Mr B. I told him that gossips and rumours are normal in biz and told him not to worry. I even told him that Ms A is a nice lady and i respected her a lot. Little did i know she has been speaking ill of her, but i was not worrying about it.

One day, Mr D called me and approached me for a job offer. But i told him that i am currently running my own biz, providing the service he requires. He told me that he would speak to his boss and let us talk. As a biz person, any opportunity is a good opportunity for me. Any outcome may happen, i may be providing him other services we did not arrange initially.

I decided to be honest to Mr B & C, so i took the chance to tell Mr C about this offer i had and that i will go ahead and hear them out. I know there would be a conflict of interest. But i tell myself i would make sure both sides know everything before i act. I didnt know what company Mr D is working in, despite asking him twice, he did not respond. So i called one of my friend to ask him before i meet Mr D's boss.

As soon as i know the company i would be speaking to, i called Mr D and i told him about the discussion i had with the boss....

Now the drama comes...

Mr B got Ms A to check out on who is the one who approach for this service. Was it me to approached Mr D or Mr D who approached me... And Mr D told Ms A i did (from what i heard)... or perhaps Ms A roti prata the whole thing? God knows... So Mr B was pissed and had an arguement with me and said that i "betrayed" them by approaching another company when i am suppose to give them that service.

I left Mr B's office, and i was curious... cause Mr B said it was the boss who said it, but when i confronted the boss for lying the very same day, he said he didnt speak to Mr B...

The following day, i recd a call from Mr C... he told me the actual story... so now.. i wonder, if it's Mr D who told a lie, or Ms A? Ms A is in the midst of helping Mr B & C in their biz, long before i was offered this opportunity, she has been speaking ill of me in front of Mr B... Reason? I also dunno... I let the readers think it thru..

Ms A asked for 5k monthly for helping Mr B & C and running the project for them. But Ms A has other commitments she needs to see to and also earning from there. Mr B & C offered her some profit sharing but she rejected, she jus wants the 5k monthly. Well, simple reason? She dont wanna clear the shit in the end. If the company close, she will jus go...

So, they got a project, something different from the actual biz trade they are in. Desperate for projects, Mr B & C are in a dilemma whether they shud grab it. Ms A who was helping them get the project told Mr B & C that she would not take the risk to take the project...!?

The Angels say: She is jus concern about their funds...

The Devils say: Knowing the company is desperate, she knows they have no choice... reverse psycology... End of the day when project doesnt work well, she is not to blame, cause she has told them not to take it up...

Ms A affected my friendship with Mr B, ruin my reputation... I have not declared war with anyone for the past few years... But i cannot take it when i have given in and she still eat me when i have nothing to do with her...

Before i declare war, i need to find out some things... Then, i will grab whatever she is gonna have, put obstacles ahead of her, even if it costs for more enemies... I will break her down. I am not stupid, just tired. But she made many wrongly accused me for my doings. Im sorry, i cannot accept.

A little hope at a time

Very long since i posted.. really duno whats going on with my life... things are moving so so so slowly... thou i see lights here and there, but still too slow...

Finally hosting starts, web design starts... my online directory is starting once we hold a mtg this weekend with the old folks.. and my printed ad is moving rather ok... Money wise... not as fast, but still seeing things here and there...

Im gg SZ soon... i hope this trip can let me think what i wanna do, plan where i wanna go and come back recharged and move on fast...

I miss my friends and relatives, i realise i have been isolating myself for some time le.. i wish i can meet my friends soon....

Bit by Bit

Thats why my friend said when i told her about my probs... i guess things are happening faster than i tot, bad things... yea... i dunno y, there is something in my mind that is so negative and evil telling me that things are gonna turn out real bad...

and me being too used to getting paid, i will get emo when it comes to mid or end of the mth... cause this is when everyone take money except me....

bills are stacking up, probs are arising.. this road.. not easy to walk. i wish i can have someone to back me up... or jus miracles... or something gd happen to me... strike 4d? i hope i have a 20k in my hands now...

i hope when i open my eyes, things will get better.... i pray hard...

I dunno if this is depression.. but... for this whole week, i tot of dying almost everyday.. and i know if i die, then i no need think too much... den no more bills, no more where is the money, how to find money....

I dunno what happen to the 'nothing is impossible dino'... now becoming 'nothing is possible'... i need someone to guide me too... im all alone...

I hope to see the light

Once again... i realise that the sales is slowing down... and now that im doing everything by myself, im drained... meeting 6 clients a day is a killer when u dun have a car... :( I wish i had a car to travel everywhere without carrying a heavy bag filled and files, books and laptop.... and my big hand bag... Argh..

But i managed to start the engine... Now, im helping to canvass for web designing, our new search engine called "search it".. thou not launched yet, but we are in the midst of budgetting, pricing, template designs and the foundation, if nothing goes wrong, by end august, we will get it up... whats more? i am getting my annual book bosses to canvas for us to make sure we earn... The web designing is purely by chance.. managed to talk to someone who does web designs but needs someone to run for her as she is working full time as well...

Now i am deciding on the payment part... i wonder how much is sufficient and not asking too much.... Spoken to my friend, he says that my role is not easy as i have to do f/u.. so i shudnt ask for too little... which i agree... cause i need to pay for my TM as well...

At least i need not rely on annual books to survive... i have more more more choices... But im gonna have a meeting tmr with my folks... i need to plan the directions, having annual books, web designing, online advertising, hosting services, bazaars... i need to stay connect with all these channels.. yes.. all alone... i decided to kick all the sales folk away and do it myself.

Funds are running low, i am stressed up on that too.. i hope to see money rolling in by this mth, and all the channels proper and stable by sept. I wanna see the light...

Tons of stuff to do

Tiring.. Launching my new pdts soon.. new to set prices and hopefully next week i will get to do product training for them...

Need to pack my room.. its in a MESS! Argh

Me gg shen zhen end of the month.. heard there got a lot of shopping to do... will go search arnd.. Am gg with my friend.. Dunno shud i feel excited or what... with so much work to do in singapore... :

Adjusting My Sleeping Time....

Finally i got to bed at 12.30am yest.. I woke up at 9am to wake him up to work.... den i went back to bed... :) Cause the weather was soooo damn good... ok la, lasted quite a while till late morning... BUT still... i managed to turn my clock... and i hope today i will start feeling sleepy at 12am.. haha.... Althou i manage to do that cause i pop 2 muscle relax pill at 930pm... (which i only felt sleepy at 12.30am **argh**) i think i shud eat 1 pill today at 730pm.. so i can sleep earlier den i will go without on monday...

Hope i can adjust and get back my NORMAL working hours by next week. I have to go my shifu there on Sat... den have to go back home to celeb my FIL birthday... Hmm, not sure what to give him so i decide to go crystal jade buy shou mian and shou tao for him.. aiya... old pple dun fancy prezzie right?? Heh...

Me jus cooked some jap rice... trying to make su shi... since my in laws not at home... i can CONQUER the kitchen!!! haha!!! Check this out >>> http://serenedinothinks.blogspot.com/

Chinese saying "Wan Shi Qi Tou Nan"

Starting a biz aint easy man... Esp when i started this company with no cap involved.

I started off with a team of folks and a telesales... at the beginning i alr know these folks are problematic.. except my telesales... I knew what i wanted to do with them... (to test the market)... I was not expecting gd results from them. But i jus wanted them to start off something for me.

Remember i went to the medium and she asked me to try do everything by myself? Yeah, now i know what she meant... Managing a company by my own was not easy, not only u need to make sure there are sufficient cash to pay them, u have to make sure that this aint ur only way to make money...

This current project can earn quick money but one time profit... i reckon i need to do somethng that is recurring... So now i branch out into web hosting and email hosting biz too... and my friend is trying to do online portal... something like advertising but online media... so i decided to give it a try esp when pple are looking more into online advertising than printed...

Bazaars and event will be minimal but i will still do it. Esp i got a good contact from one of my cilent. He manages 60+ canteens in big companies and would like to do bazaars for each of them... Sounds good. I still need to follow up closely and do a proper presentation on that to make sure it goes well....

I decided to hire 1 more telesales to increase the number of appts. and i decided to go thru all these appts by myself. I will meet them and close them. I need to get my agressiveness back... I need to think calmly and with a clear mind too.

Now, here is what i plan...

1. Continue with the current project on annual books

2. Prepared the proposal and will send out to major magazine companies to become their outsource partner to sell ad space for them. (Like car mag, health mag etc) - but im into specific mags... Fashion will be the last like cleo etc....

3. Close the bazaar project and start managing the bazaars one by one... one week 2 location and finish the project in 8 months time. by then, i will have good amount of money alr. If possible, close some big companies like hospitals for montly bazaars.. sign a contract for 2 years... so i will have monthly recurring profit.

4. launch the online advertising website and start selling the ad space together with web hosting and email hosting and domain name together. As these are per year profit, but chances of renewal are higher than printed ad space. Most imptly, I get the cash in (for the first payment) to choke up my funds.

5. To get all of the above running, i need 2 telesales, part time to do all the callings for me... Cause they will need to multi task and moreover they are students, and they only can do half day daily. On weekends, companies are not working, even if they come to office to work also no use... So i need 2 to make sure that i have sufficient appts to close.

6. I plan to meet 10 appts per week so that i have enough to close... minimum 40% - 50% closing shud be sufficient. Every week a $5k minimum chq recieve so that i can earn at least $5k per month... and company will earn $10k - $15k per month... So that i can start hiring sales man providing them basic salary.. So they will have commitment to my company.

Well, it takes time to build what i planned... Succeed or not, still dunno. But they are all visible ideas. I pray hard i can make it. I know everything is tough at the beginning. But I shud have faith in myself. I pray hard things will fall into place soon.

I need to be more hardworking, agressive and alert... Realise i have been waking up later and later... which shud not be that way. I need to buy 4 alarm clocks to wake me up liao... I MUST wake up to start my engines fast. I NEED to make things possible...

I dun wanna suffer in debts and bills... I jus want to buy anything anytime, do everything anytime... I want to save up and earn and save.... Save until when i grow old, i need not be like those auntie uncle no money to eat, no clothes to wear... Even see doc also no money... I am fortunate now that i am blessed with gui ren and luck. But i cant take it for granted. I need to earn myself too...

I need motivation and self encouragement to push myself to the limit...

Pray hard i make it...

Panic

There are some things i know i have to get them done in the shortest time. Im trying, but i dun seem to have the strength to do so.. Each time i think of it, i will have cold sweat... Argh... I need to hit my tartget each week in order to achieve what i want in the shortest time. I need to make it...

Went to the temple took a lot... cause i was wondering if i shud go work or remain ma... end of the day, who dun wan to take company monthly salary? Den the lot says, remain still, do not do anything now. Nature will take its course... And i remember i went with fang to the temple to draw a lot in April before i resign, it says at that pt of time, my boat aint moving anywhere, i need to wait till aug when the monsoon season comes den the boat will sail. Next mth is aug liao... and the kuan yim ma lot i drew last week as me remain still... lets see ok?

I know starting own biz is tough, and sure tough for the first 2 years, i hope i pull thru with all the debts on hand... im kinda worried about the debts part.. my reserves almost gone liao... i need to think of a way asap...

Kuan Yim Ma and the gods above, please por pi me earn big bucks to settle everything and start a new life.. a better one at least...

Hope my prayers come true...

Life Sux but I Need the Bucks

Hai, messy messy.. no time for everything. either i do my work, den no time for myself, or i do my things den naturally my mind will go to work... i need to organise myself again... shit.. i feel that i am lagging behind and trying to catch up with time... gosh...

Picked up saxophone.. cool man.. 2nd lesson and im loving it.. never been so attentive in class before.. hee.. and finally liking something i learn.... Booked my driving exam... which is in dec.. still a long way to go... so picking up the driving lessons again but slowly cause i clocked in the hours liao, jus that i think too long never drive a bit rusty liao. jus get back on the wheels again and get used to it lor... thinking of once a week or once every fortnightly... hmmm.. tmr ask my instructor...

me alr looking at car mag liao.. heh... if dec pass can go buy car liao.. but thinking of getting a budget budget one first... at least first timer.. if accident also no heart pain... and moreover, i now running my own biz, cannot have too many commitment...

:( sianz... i miss my friends... wanna see them but no time.. how.....

All Alone

Now i understand why they say setting up biz is easy but maintaining it is tough. When u have to face employee prob, when they are all out of office for sales, when u are so bz but yet the numbers not moving.. yeah, im stressed. Cause its my biz..

Only i can make the change, only i can make the decision, and only me alone trying to make things work... Im exhausted. Its killing me man... I wish i had the powers to give everyone a push... I wish my folks treat this as their own biz.

Yes, there were times that i wanted to give up. But i know this is just the beginning. I should continue cause it will always be difficult at the start. So now, i just pray hard and work hard. Everything just do it myself.... God.. gimme the power...

I havent been resting for 3 weeks. My dark eye rings and eye bags are making me like a ghost.. was so bz that i went to other places to trim and dye my hair... end up... my hair is so short and i look like shit. I was so depressed... I look so damn ugly. Fuck, i hate it man...