Creating A New Me

I know i need to do something about myself...

I hate people showing off what they think they have and i cant have it too... So im gonna prove it to her and shut her damn mouth up.. I tell u... i seldom so pek chek about some pple until the moment they start talking, i jus wanna stuff her mouth with a STONE!

And from today onwards... I am gonna work things out.. And make sure i get it right the very first time...

Its not about work... its about myself. Once she sees that i can also do it.. She better not speak a word about how she can get it so right.

Balls to U! **argh**

家家的经到底有多难念？

I was having some drinks over ktv with some of my friends... it was a night for the sad to vent them out... Well... there are 2 sad pple in the gathering and were telling their stories which they had kept for a long time in them... Like i say last time... whenever i say my "bible" i will rely in chinese... Here it is....

人阿，你的责任到底是什么？可能我基督教徒的朋友多有了答案，但如果用做人的道理来说的话，你知道做人到底要怎么做？人，是很富有感情的动物。。人，会因为感情，不论亲情，爱情，友情而烦恼。。。 但对我而言，最能令我受到打击的只有亲情。。 就说我母亲就好。。性格上，我们本来就有很多差距，从来都说不到半句就要吵架。。但我母亲就是那么的爱我。。她爱的方式？就只有唠叨，问东问西。。我也是人，我一定很烦。当初，我还没结婚，什么都怪我妈。。 怪她当初为何舍得让我辍学，为何当初不逼我读书，就让我这样出来社会做工。。 虽然不要读书的人是我，当我那时觉得我妈有权力逼我的。。

可是，结了婚以后，我开始了解妈妈不是不要我读，他太疼我了，就随着我的意思做。你想想，这，又有什么不对？太放纵我？这都是因为“太疼”惹的祸。

有一位朋友对我说，他母亲不公平。。 因为没给他机会读大学，但其它的兄妹都有这个机会，为什么她没有？朋友啊，有时候，不是不要，就一定是有别的原因。为人父母，从来不想少给孩子东西，只想多为孩子做些什么。。。

看我好了。。我从小就被母亲领养。。 长大后，我有问过自己，到底为什么我亲生父母会放弃我。。 我如果有兄弟姐妹，那为什么亲生父母会选择放弃我，卖掉我？为什么会是我？是他们不爱我？是他们不喜欢我？这个问题在我脑海里很久。。我不只怪我亲生父母，我曾经也怪过我妈，为何要让我一生没有父爱。。

但，自从我结了婚，开始跟我的侄女和侄儿比较合得来，我发觉有时候不是不疼，不是不给，不是不爱。。只是当时不能，不可以，不舍得，没能力。。可能，我亲生父母生了我，就没钱了，或者生到我时父母就欠债累累。。只好买了我。。但又能怪谁？怪父母吗？他们要的吗？社会？

过了这么久，已经不怪父母了，因为，我知道不会有父母不要他们的子女的。。

朋友，我不是想要解释什么。。我只是要说。。 不要理会父母以前没为你做什么，反而想想父母从以前到今时没放弃为了你做什么，一直都为了你做什么。。难道当父母不能为你做什么时，他们不会责怪自己吗？父母的苦衷，当时如果跟你解释，你会明白吗？

所以我说，朋友啊。。。

“人生就像一场戏，因为有缘才相聚，向扶到老不容易，是否应该去珍惜？儿孙所是由他去，吃苦享乐在一起，神仙羡慕好伴侣”

只要做到自己的孝道，让父母有生之年快乐，满足。。其它每到的东西，就自己去争取吧。。

说真的，当我看到你为这而伤心，我第一的感觉，只是怕你会后悔没珍惜。。。 我希望你会体会我的着急。。 不要放在心上。。懂得放开，懂得领悟，得饶人处且饶人。。

我不是很懂，也不是很experienced. 我只是和你分享我走过的路。。我想过的事。。尤其是对我妈，我后悔没早一点领悟而浪费了十年的时间。。我前十年多在外头，从来没在他身边。。当我领悟了，已经失去了十年了。。十年后的我，才懂得放开，懂得原谅。。也明白，我妈真的为了我牺牲过很多。。他知道我没有父爱，所以给了我很多，尽量弥补很多。。老天爷是公平的。。别在看着你没有的。。。开始看一些你有的吧。。

不是叫你“知足长乐”的道理，而是要你珍惜所拥有的。。懂得为你渴望的发愤。。为你所得到的感到安慰。。

my words may not be what u meant, but i hope it will guide u somewhere and open ur heart.

I hope u make it thru...

I need to decide for myself.. For the worst

Seeing my topic, u shud know im in a miserable state now...

But i shant be posing yet.. until i made the decision for the worst... well, got a new laptop from the office. Thanks Amos for coming back office on sat to get it done for me!! :)

Well, since there is a bluetooth feature, so i am posting some pic after transfer via bluetooth frm my phone to my laptop... Random pics...

Makan at Old Town @ ECP

Drinks during lunch

What is Love? Where is the Love?

Hmm, Had coffee with a friend of mine on Friday... Something lousy happened to the couple.. And many thoughts had been running thru my mind...

If you say, once you fall in love, you will fall hard into it.. That is why u couldnt let go the other.. But... Does that mean that you have no love for the first one already? Hmm.. seems like it huh? People might hear this story and think that this lead actor is irresponsible, heartless, liar.. But i think he is jus avoiding some things...

And he has found himself another shelter to hide, and of course a shelter should be a safe and happy one, if not why would he not leave? Once he has solved his prob, he will face the reality...

But under this love spell, how am i going to explain to him? I wont make him decide.. I told him that 'time will tell'.. But the commitments and burdens are distracting his clear mind... Moreover, these 2 pple are my close friends... What am i going to do?

Why all these things are never ending lei? I wish love is pure.. But humans are humans... our affections and emotions cant be controlled by anyone else but yourself...



Watching: D.I.E-古灵精探

Hot Week

Dun u find that the weather is damn HOT??

Wa Piang... i tell u ah.. sit kopi tiam also hot.. got air con in the office but still hot... i think its damn terok lor!!

Faster close more case.. this mth very crucial... quick quick.. jia you!!!

Get more $$.. next mth book tickets!!!

I miss sleeping...

I miss a lot of things..

But i got more impt things to do... WORK AND CLOSE SALES FIRST...

Fang: Hope u like the biscuits!! see the 2 chip & dale remind me of us in OCBC wor... Hee..!! Jia You... Study hard.. earn more $$!!

MY GOAL... TO CLOSE~

Alright... After some struggles this month... I pray hard to close the outright purchase and the coffee company by May... Chao Chao Outright purchase have to come in this mth... I need to put in more effort to get the 10k... JIA YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WANT TO GO HK BY JUN/JUL!!!!!!!!!!!

I WANT A HAPPY HOLIDAY!!!!!!

Long Weekend!!

Took leave on Friday~ to relax myself and also get some things done...

Oh ya, i would like to update my "feelings" cause I WENT FOR COLON CLEANSING!! okok... Here it is.. Went to Hydro Health @ Paragon Medical Centre... The clinic was comfortable, i was being consulted by an old lady doc (50s ba..) and she patiently explains the procedure and the benefits of it... Then i was brought to a room by the assistant. Her calm and friendly look did not make me feel shy about it!

I was lying on a incline seat (like the dentist chair..) and i was sitting on a 马桶
er... i mean a look alike one la... In front of my is a huge tank.. Accordingly to doc, it contains 40 over litres of "purified" water... and it will consistantly pump into my bowel... Ok.. Here's wat happen.. the organ will transmit a msg to the brain telling the brain that it's time to clear bowels.. So brain will transmit an "action" to do for the bowel.. and yes... its fully auto (thanks to brain and bowels) there was no prob release wat was suppose to be released...

But... it lasted for 40 mins... during the time, i can read magazines, talk on the phone (which of coz, i knew i couldnt do it cause i will lose focus!! haha)

There is a tube which i can see wat was passed out... and yes indeed, i paid $150 which is worth it... hee...

After the session, i rested for 10 mins in the same position cause the remaining water will be passed out... And thru out the day, i had been passing water, so i need to be accessible to the toilets... haha!!

Doc ask me to go back again within the week cause its my first time, but there wasnt any hard selling, no pushing for appointments... The doc even told me "Maybe after this try, you might not even return again..." haha... I agree, the first 10 mins.. i almost gave up... cause i dun like the pain (feels like you jus ate something too wrong)

But~~ i will be going back again next week... cause i can see my tummy "flatter"!! Vain right? Next, i need to look closely at my skin, heard it can improve skin wor.. so far, the only thing i realise was my chicken pox scars lightening (i did not apply anything wor)

Anyway, went to my dentist, and i need to go for root canal which cost me $1200!! Shitty tooth... There's a big hole... I dun understand why... cause its not like i never take care of my teeth wor.. i go dentist once every 6 mths... Maybe im a smoker thats y? But i cant afford la.. so now, i had to brush my teeth after each meals or snacks.. even eat biscuit also need to brush... so u can imagine how many times i brush.. i brush at office too!! Reason: to slow down the bateria from making it worse... Why??

Cause i am looking for govt aided dental centres like poly clinics, den get referred to National Dental Centre... den see if can deduct medisave bo.. if not, i will have it extract... Maybe need to wear JIA YA!!! omg.....

Think about it i also scared..

Rainy Tuesdays

Today is not suppose to be so hectic.. but i was distributing cakes for my customers at pandan.. ok la... sa ka to them lor.. so that sales faster come in.. moreover IT's PAYDAY!! spend spend spend.. i cannot believe that i walked into Lee Hwa at IMM and bought a RING! haha.. it looks that the one i lost on my wedding day... I jus fell in love with it wor... I told Elaine, and she say.. "wa, u spend as thou u earn 10k pay lei.." haha.. implusive spending lor...

Went to shop alone at IMM yest... went guardian and bought a lot of daily stuff... even wanted to buy a DKNY watch wor.. but since i bought the ring, i was stopping myself to buy the watch.. PLUS! im going for my colon cleansing... gotta spend a bomb...

Was having korean food with Elaine jus now... took some pics which i will post later...used my new debit card for the bill.. that BITCH (cashier) made a wrong transaction of $308+ den void that F*(^&*%&* reciept.. den come to me and say that card cannot use!! bloody hell.. i called DBS and F*(&*( them.. then i come to realise its tat BITCH mistake.. as many friends know me well.. obviously that would know what happen next... went back to the cashier and F*(&*( her lor.. demand her to call her terminal bank to give my back my $$ by tomorrow.. haha!!!!

well.. thats the price u gotta pay for not being honest... i told her "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SAVINGS INTEREST IM LOSING IF I GOTTA WAIT 10 DAYS FOR THE $$ TO COME BACK TO MY SAVINGS ACC???" erm... if u r knowledgable... savings interest in normal posb bank is like... 0.275%? (if i remember correctly) haha!! FUCK, jus shoot la.. i know she will not know... WHO CARES!!!

Alvin going BKK without me on FRI... its HENS night again!!! woo hoo!! but i got no plans yet... keke...

Hmm.. Gg JL sales tmr at expo... shopping again.....

Pay Day Tomorrow!!

So excited.. i got tons of things to pay and buy!! haha moreover, this is the first pay chq i get which is quite a nice amount too :)

Weekend was alright.. Alvin was at home 2 days!! so we WASH TOILET!! good workout lei.... Anyway, was thinking of climbing stairs for 20 mins everyday... but i also come home late wor... haha lets see how it goes la.. keke

Was reading an article about drinking 8 cups of waters... Read this..

I plan to use some of my pay to cheong for sales this week... To bring up my numbers once again.. Jia You Wei Wen!!

当你觉得一切似乎好迷糊，那只是从新开始的第一步

Bz Doing Nonsense

Had been leong for the last 5 days!! i dunno how i managed to even come to work... :(

I told myself that i cannot slow down the pace and the momentum im having right now... so after i get my pay.. i will cheong like mad... and make sure i throw out 10 proposals for this mth... pray hard... next week need to go prayers.. go for my colon cleansing... go a lot of places wor... need to return a lot of things..

Im planning to go HK in jul or aug this year... but planning to c if i can go even earlier.. in May ba.

And... my birthday is coming!! 10 may!! uhu!!! Hmm... Dinner with Fang is must wor... we alr seldom meet liao.. it would be nice to celebrate with her :) Maybe this year, i treat her to go somewhere nice... cause we tried imperial last year liao ma...

Den celebrate with colleagues... and some of my friends!! keke... or... maybe ask all friends to come to one place with my colleagues??

Excited... sigh... am very sleepy... morning 830 meeting... damn xiong....