Close Em' ALL!!

Ok, ive done my funnels for feb... and i gotta get them in, if not my decision would be drastic. well, life goes on...

Gotta know some nice customers this month... potential ones too.... well..... life goes on... haha!! At least, they let me divert my stress and attn at work to elsewhere ba... And perhaps the emptiness im suffering now.. heh...

Kampateh!!! I will make it thru...

Went to loyang dua pek gong today... talk to big uncle... and i hope he really will grant my wish...

Make it or break it... Double or nothing... Its up to faith, destiny... And im all ready...

It SUCKS

I am very stressed at work.. and my boss has spoken to me about my numbers yesterday night which somehow made me very upset... Cause i really cheong like a cow but then he says that my numbers on board is very little compared to others... i mean... i never wanted to talk back to my boss.. but i decided not.. cause i feel that ultimately, its my fault to do such sales.

I am indirectly blaming myself for this result... but honestly, i really tried la...

Anyway, im low on morale now. very low... Since i started working here, my morale is always on high... but now... i really feel that i am not appreciated la... haiya... its me la... im very tired perhaps... i also want my deals to come...

Well, next mth will be the month my bigger deals is coming in... i mean (SHOULD BE).... since we spoke last night, honestly i dun really dare to give him my full funnel.. cause i dun wanna fail him also... if not, becoming an empty promises...

God, im still trying... please guide me thru... give me strength

Somehow i dun really want CNY to come...

Dunno y.. till now, i still dun have cny mood... i jus bought a blouse for myself till now.. by right, with my character.. i shud have a pair shoes, dress, blouse etc etc.. everything frm head to toe sure 1 set.. but hor... im too tired and stress up at work, by the time its weekend.. i would slack and nua at home...

but this year, i did A LOT of spring cleaning.. thats the most happy thing i did lei.. sad... Well, thank goodness last fri a lot of orders came in for my team... think we are half way la... 300k liao ba...

but my boss still face black black... i hope we all can continue to cheong cheong and cheong.. i know im stressed, but i wont give up de la... worked till 12mn on fri to sort out my feb funnel and re do one of my proposal.. if that comes in, that shud be my first big deal ba... not really big la.. but at least more than one miserable machine... haha!!

Made almond apple + honey drink for my colleagues today.. cause fri, there were coughing, sniffing all over the office.. we all cannot fall sick at this point.. if not very tough to recover (cause cny is coming... and the heaty food)...

Jia you jia you!! Aja FIGHTING!!

It's True - No One Is Doing NOTHING

Ever since boss told us that we need to contribute to the 600k target... the entire team have not stop to work towards it, busying over it, dream about it, think about it, stone about it.... I guess each part of our lives now is filled with "who can close now?", and its inside our brains, chanting at our ears... Not forgetting the boss' non stop pushing, trying to help us meet customers, see whats the problem.

The good thing is that most of the things esp costings, we have empowerment over most of it, except below benchmark things la.. so many of the times are not about how much we cant do.. its more like how much the customer needs to discuss and whether our prices meet theirs... some jus push their luck also la... they know their in need liao, but still bargain and bargain... BUT... we really gave our best liao lor...

Sales closing is tomorrow, but the team will not rest till CNY. We have a week more, and each and everyone of us WANTS TO BRING IN SOMETHING SOMEHOW. If u are pushing us very hard, we are pushing ourselves twice as much - that most of us are down with flu, cough, fever etc etc... immune system is getting weaker and weaker also... Even when we got on the bed in the night, i believe most of my colleagues either dream about machines, thoughts of their funnels and all those you know la... So rest = no rest...

I just hope our team can make it thru.. even numbers may not come in, but our team has pushed and more than just agressive.. And the best thing? --- NO ONE HAS GIVEN UP. One for all, everyone is encouraging each other, buying food for those busy in the office, listen to each others' cases & sharing ideas... But ever since breakfast is banned, we really seldom talk about such stuff that often too :(

SOON-TO-BE OUTSTANDING TEAM... Dont ever give up, We are almost there!

Appearance v.s. Reality

Somehow... managed to have a good talk with some friends of mine... and got to confirm what i predicted and imagined.. In fact, im not amazed by the things that are happening around.... It's jus that i told myself not to judge by my own predictions.... but who knows...

Humans are like that, first.. nothing is enough... then... it looks greener on the other side... yeah... greed kill most... and the desperation i see in some pple makes me disgusted... eating and shitting right at the same place, thinking too highly of themselves that nothing would happen

And out of all these things, i am the stubborn one who make sure i wont let it off easily. Sad la... but i can be very nice, but not to the extend of being taken advantage of.

Its amazing how some humans see things... esp i feel this person is so so AMAZINGLY kam lan. im not plotting, but im curious how far this creature will go... i will jus stop if im sian la.. but i think its still interesting till now.. haha!!

Week 4 - The Outcome

This week is gonna be more tiring than last and even the last few weeks... I lost Cindy somehow... and now that i have to do everything by myself.. im kinda stressed up... For a moment, i feel that i have not enough time to do everything!! Sigh... ok.. i reckon that i need to organise my things again...

And i NEED to know who i wanna close next mth's deal also.. CNY is coming up in 2 weeks time and i havent done much shopping.. argh!!! Went to J8 for some CNY shopping and buy some necessity... and also a FULL body massage... (Finally..)

Sigh.. tmr is again another week of war... i need to rest man!!

Planning to organise a chalet or something or a drinking session with my colleagues and mingle arnd end of jan or feb... cause i guess we need some time OFF WORK... haha... gtg.. its getting lateeeee...

Happy & Stressed

Its been days since i blogged... was busy pushing my sales in, meeting customers and finding new customers... Thankfully to the PINK amulet & all the blessings... i managed to close a deal on Tues... and i almost lost it initially!! haha... who ask me.. go call customer on monday morning, knowing that monday always very blue de... but heng i sms customer to apologise in the afternoon, then he called me to confirm the deal..

And i had a bad trip, spending 2 hrs in the taxi.. (lets not talk about the sad stuff)... well, finally submitted yesterday.. but jus as i plan to calm down and think about my funnels for next mth, trying to get at least 15 new proposals to follow up for next mth... our big boss called for a mtg yest evening... he say he needs 600k sales and wants our team to hit it no matter what... Adding to all the tension, he reminded us that we are left with 9 working days!! Argh, i know i might not be the one who has the most bullets to help.. but i thought i would give it a shot.. cause whatever that comes in counts... Anyway, its a good thing cause i get to offer customers a better price...

Well, we discussed and i forecast a figure of 40k to contribute to the shortfall. I aint sure if i can, honestly. But i will give it a try... Aja Fighting!!!!

I worry for those of my colleagues who has some hiccups this mth, alr they are squeezing to the max to break the egg, and with this "must get" target... i totally understand how stressed they are now. Its jus like... u got 10 orders on the list, and a group of pple orders another 20... Sigh... i would wanna do my part to help.

So Pink God, Gods above.. please see thru and guide us... make the customers cool down and listen to us. Let them consider and be convinced. Let us all (10 of us).. make it to 600k and have a happy new year... Oh ya, god, can u lead us to find the first deal for next mth as well? Cause if we hit 600k, i doubt we would have any to submit next mth too.. Please help.

Xmas Eve Celebration

Hey Hey Hey~ i reckon i need to upload some pics.. heh... if not really like diary liao... one of my colleagues took some pics and sent the link to us on fri... was too lazy, so i jus print screen.. heh.. when i have more time, den i upload nicer ones ok? But i see my pics below... wah.. i wear this "baby doll" blouse take pic.... i look like im pregnant!!! damn fat... ARGH.. hee....


Hmm... too small for u too c? Click on image!! :)

My Name is 陳韋妏

I need to annouce this like my shifu said... see, i got this new name given by my shifu in july 07, but i din wanna change cause i think im ok with my previous name... but.. since im so suay nowadays, i decided to get it done and see if my luck and life would change.. So.. 陳韋妏 is the hock ki name!! haha....

Well, even thou i got my chinese name changed, i did not change my dialet name (Tan Hwee Min) but i got my hanyu pinyin changed to (Chen Weiwen)... it sounds like a guy? Who cares? Shifu says it good, so i will heed his advice... i trust him, cause his not a fortune teller, but he guides me to many things... i learn to chant to seek peace in my mind, and sometimes when im really down, den he will do calculations for me to foretell whats happening and whats gonna happen... His a guardian to me...

Next is to go SIR to get my NRIC done.. hopefully next week... but since target is not met, i also dun wanna do anything else but work... anyway i got 28 days to get my NRIC done... :)

Got a new buddha amulet yesterday.. its a PINK one! only one in the box.. there are 4 colors.. its called "Soon Teck", meant for safety, business... it was more like a love at first sight.. Since i have a Friday Buddha, i cant wear the Soon Teck together cause we have to wear amulets in 3s.. so my shifu took out his Pi Xiu from the altar which he has kept for ages to go with my amulets!! Im touched and also guilty la... cause the Pi Xiu was with him for so long... and i learnt that the monk who blessed the Pi Xiu is a famous monk... And my PINK Soon Teck is blessed and chanted by 780 monks! He showed me the Thai newspaper article.. The material used for Soon Teck were the (brick)residues from the old temple structure. They are only about 2000+ that were blessed and no more liao... Thats why amulets can fetch high prices cause of the "limited edition"...

When im confused, sad... i would go to shifu and talk to him... like what he usually do, he would blessed and chant me... :)

Im happy la... that im blessed, but some things have to rely on urself de.. that i know.

Traffic Congestion!!

Argh!! I used to take cab to work at psa bldg and paid about $20+- with on call ($4) + peak hour($2)... and with the increaase in fares... its like.... almost $30 when it comes to traffic jams...

It used to start jamming from clementi ave 6.. den slowly i see the jam starting at pie... NOW!! jus turn out from my place and it start to jam!! with the 35% of every 20cents.. i tell u... i rather pay the $2 peak hour... Cause with the 35%, the "peak hour" can go up to $10 too!! i wonder why are there so MANY cars arnd.. and everyone is like "in a rush"... trying to cut each other... i feel like im in bangkok suddenly.. It used to have traffic congestion in the mornings and after work timings... now...?? every single hour its jamming!

We used to say that driving sports car in singapore is not a good choice due to the traffic lights... now...? its BEST to ride a bike.. cause the vehicles never can go up to 100km/hr on the road too! I wonder why... Issit the cab drivers trying to get into the jammed lanes to earn the 35%?

I used to not bother on peak hours and stuff... I even call cabs during peak hours and i dun feel the pinch... but i realise yesterday that i start to see my watch when i take cabs... And if im not in a rush to go anywhere... I queued up like yesterday... Queue for 30 mins... Honestly, if its not raining... i MIGHT take a bus home!! haha!! ridiculous u know???

So... i decided to try this out... take a bus to work and save $30 per day... 5 days its $150!! u know one mth i can buy my camera liao?? haha... what nonsense???? Okok.. let me try to wake up at 6am, and leave the house by 715am and take a bus by 730am so that i can reach by 830am! See.. i take cab to office cause i dun wanna be late for work and try to sleep more.. but... now, even when i take the cab by 745am, i reach office at 9am!! what's wrong singapore??

Lets see if i can make it can take bus to work.. haha...

Stop Bugging Me Son!

Sigh.. went to a company today... 80% lost.. cause they cant accept the fact that they are selling away a machine for our and suffering a loss... hmm... got another chance, but need some effort... So i plan to do something to salvage this case...

But on the other hand, i got 2 happy news... i have a company that requires 60 turn around time till they decide if they wanna take up my proposal. Next, they tell me that there are a grp of companies that is under that committee. So if i can convince the committee.. chances of closing MORE at a go... will be quite high...

Then when i reach office, and i got a referral from a guilty customer.. and quote a super "never earn" quote for fast closing... spoke directly to the GM.. and it looks healthy.. he say will look thru and tell me tomorrow... Hopefully can sign order on Fri...

Sigh.. i keep having knock backs like tat... I was depressed for a while.. cause the 80% lost case is suppose to cover 1/4 of my target... now i need to find something to cover that back... and they like the idea but the fact that they are making a loss... sigh...

I hope.. really hope... i can make it... at least something to ease the intensity now. In me.. at least... im not a person who gives up easily. But i will if i feel the guilt in me.

Sigh

Its better off this way...

Had a rather unproductive day... only useful thing i did was to go to the temple to pray and seek for better luck and better sales.. and managed to exchange some sales techniques with my colleagues during our smoke breaks... Well, im trying to be organised and not to get lost easily, and i reckon that for a start, i need to jot things down to constantly remind myself. Going back to the basics is slow but i feel its essential for the beginning. Im not submitting myself to fate or destiny. I know if i have faith, it will come.

Met up with a friend of mine whom we havent been speaking or seeing each other for a YEAR! This "bonded" pal of mine is rather special, cause we seldom meet or chat.. but feels no stranger to me each time we manage to catch up. And the moment we said bye.. we know its gonna be 2009 till we meet again... HAHA... no.. its not a delibrate thing.. but it jus happens that we only think of each other once a year! heh...

But its thru this friend that i see myself growing up each time we meet. We share our lives and whats happening for the past year and i would recall what principles i had back then and now... And yes, i have grow up for the better. Somehow, this conversation we shared earlier, calms me down and ease the tension in me.

I thought that my thinkings and beliefs had gone haywire for the luck im having and the hiccups ive been having... but i reckon that its not that bad afterall.. i feel that im more mature, im not that impulsive compared to last year when we shared. In aspects of love matters, i realise that the explanations i had shared compared to the past = i have learnt to take things slowly, and i can learn to let things go in a more... "cool" manner... At work, i no longer jus work for the sake of working.. but working to excel and gain more knowledge in what im doing. Just like taking a masters in sales or "selling".. haha... practical one... i start to remember and jot down in mind of what i have been going thru and breaking those points down to make it to a bigger picture, which helps me improve in what im doing.

Now, thats what i have done for myself in 2007 and what im still doing in 2008... for a moment i felt relieve that im not that lost afterall. Im jus confused.

Thanks pal, u kinda enlighten me without knowing whats wrong with me, or with no intention of enlightening me. I just happen to digest what we chat about, wat i have been doing.. and ya... i jus need to correct things here and there.. and i shud start to believe in myself and that serene is improving day by day.

This friend of mine is a leader.. a creator or someone who creates opportunity, influence and possess the power of making beliefs. And i told him this today, which i myself thought was "powderful..".. a typical "ah huay" like me wouldnt say this.. haha...

I told him...

In your job, you are the create and make beliefs..

And me, my job is to nurture the beliefs...

Sales is not only about selling... selling is an instrument, but my job is not to sell only... it is to nurture the beliefs people already have and making them feel the importance of having and posessing, & by giving them what they never thought of having anyway.

Every sales product might not be a need. But we educate them why they need and they must "need" it.. No one wants to give up something which would be good for them. Should they resist, find the reason. Nothing is impossible, it could only be impossible if they never reveal & u never try to find out.

Dreams.. Dreams...

I had a funny dream last night... Dreamt of my first love! haha.. The first love not meaning first bf.. but first guy i loved. An egoistic man who is highly confident about himself. Even a prideful girl like me was conquered by him... Haha!! But honestly, the 2.5 years spent with him, i learnt quite a lot from him.. I stayed with him for a year or so, being rebellious and naughty at that time, i didnt think much and just wanted to be with someone i love. I had great times with his whole family (including aunties & uncles), learning cookery, traditional recipes and family warmth.

His mom was a SUPERWOMAN... i respect her a lot till now. She is a intelligent lady who can take care of her family and take care of her business as well. She taught me much and also went thru a lot of her tests thou... (heh)

His dad, very similar to his character but his dad is someone who accepts and listens. Stubborn at times, but he learns to accept. It took his dad some time to accept me and the acceptance started when i met him at a PUB! And we ended up talking in the car back, talking about life, thoughts, dreams. The only regretful thing i felt was the time when he was admitted after his morning jog. My mom didnt allow to let me go to the hospital (superstitious reasons), and my ex was so angry with me cause his dad was looking for me when he woke up. Till now, i feel very guilty, and since then, i had never seen his dad cause we broke up shortly after that.

His sister, a unique name, a unique personality. I respect her as much and i feel that she is a very capable young lady who seeks freedom yet holds on to her responsibility. I enjoyed the times chatting with her and seeking advice from her too.

This dream of mine, stir up a lot of my thoughts, past, sweet & harash moments. A lot of "what ifs" came up to my mind, and now that he is no longer in contact with me, and his still unwilling to open up his mind and thoughts. There are many questions i would like to ask him too. I heard from our friend that he did ask about me in their meet up session, and my friend's mom advice me not to think about it since his so ego and nasty. But then again, there are some things you know you wont forget for life.

After departing for 6 years, the memories are still locked in my memories. Even without thinking about it, i still can dream of him! And he looks fierce in that dream thou... haha... Well, if i were to be on my death bed today, he is one person i would like to see for the last time too. Even thou we had our fights during our relationship, still, this first love was well spent, real, honest and true. I guess we should put those xiao hai zi hua (childish anger) aside, those happen cause we were still young. Now that we are grown ups, thinkings and mindsets have changed, im sure there are much to catch up.. But i would only wan to see him when im parting.. haha... cause i scared he will look fierce upon seeing me alive! hahahaahaha

U kw its precious but u've no means 2 hold on tight

Have been working like a bull since the beginning of the year... jus cause i wanna do well this month in my sales. I felt that i cannot just work hard, but i have to achieve something... Im adding on stress to myself-i know. But its a natural instinct mould in me since i started working in banks, and i cant seem to loosen myself up anyway... Like the fortune teller say... everything i have to rely on myself... so i guess, i need to stay positive and keep up the determination and jus rely on myself. Thou its tiring to keep on relying on my means.. and i get so tired sometimes that my mind can flash back a person resting on a jogging track catching its breath. But i know i have no intension to stop yet. I will fight on. I can.

Looking at the news today, and found out that our child hood comedian and a low profile but well respected artiste has just left us for no reasons - MC King (Lan Qing Xi)... Last year, we had Chen Jin Lang, and <<881>> having sad songs << Last Breath >> & <<12 Lotus>>... Esp << Last Breath >>, even till now, when i listen to the lyrics, i felt that i was singing how i felt.. (beg the god up above, let me leave peacefully.. asking my parents to take me along, and stay by your side) - honestly speaking, its a waste for talents like them to leave.. They pass on with the passion in their lives, jobs still burning on.. Reading MC's blog, i realise that he was depressed about his low profile and his lack of explosure after being so long in the media.

Nonetheless, i feel his happiness in the jobs he does and the passion to fight on another day. Like what he said... "今的这个社会，事事难料。今天风风光光，明天口袋光光。只要每天努力向上，对得起自己，家人和友人，明天哪怕天塌下来也能即登“极乐世界”吧".. How many times have u encouraged urself this way to feel relieve for that few mins...? I have - plenty. So what if you 对得起自己, 每天努力向上? This working society is cruel.. u cannot deliver what is expected of u... u have to find a place which can keep u alive. Its no longer about working hard or smart... End of the day, its what u can produce.. Bosses appreciate ur hard work and efforts, but who will cover them for your shortfall? I know the facts and theory in my past experience... and i understand clearly.

I lack of luck now, but i have never stop adding hard work and effort. Perhaps, its not my turn yet, but i know i wont stop because of luck. Im just waiting for luck to come and by then, i will be well prepared and ready to recd many orders and hitting targets. End of the day, its not mainly about 对得起自己.. but more like not disappointing people who trust that you can.

Seriously, sometimes i wish i can stop thinking... stop being sad and depress... i tried many ways to sleep at night.. but once i close my eyes, i will keep thinking of the consequences, the fatal results - negative stuff. But strangely, my mood and passion for sales and sale figures never die.. Its the only thing that keeps me going NOW.

I know if my friends read this blog and realise that i might need a listening ear, they would come forward. But honestly, i dont know how to explain what my actual though.. like i said in my last post.. im also trying to find out what i am thinking exactly. Keeping inside is not the best solution, so i will try to blog them down as much as i can... im jus afraid, if i start to sit down and think of a solution to untie the knots in me... i would be lost AGAIN. Like what MC mention.. i think in my life its like 很不得志；风风雨雨，跌跌撞撞，出门遇衰人，找人问无门.. he was talking abt his work, and me.. my path now.

Right now, i jus want to continue walking till i meet "luck" & "god's guidiance"... if i stop walking, i would never see them again. Meanwhile, i continue to work harder, so that once i met "them", i can start reaping what i sowed. As for my sleepless nights, i would blog, work and plan my funnels. I know tables will turn, once i meet my opportunity, i wont lose it again.

To God above who used to be watching over me.. "I'm right here, never left u, still believe that u will remember my existance soon.. I have not given up, pls dun give me up"

Workaholic or Too Stress?

I know this is just the 3rd day of the month.. but look.. the week 1 is almost over... my goodness... im losing my breath... work is stress.. but im motivated to earn as much money i can in the shortest time span. I need to make it happen anyway...

Im really stressed at work but im enjoying it... the only part im hating is that fact that i keep on losing direction and i have to constantly find them and remind myself...

I realise i start to keep quiet nowadays, dun talk much expect work stuff.. althou i talk cock sometimes, but my mind is at my working desk, costing sheet, and my pile of customer records... i love this part.. when i work, i forget everything.. everything like the responsibilities im carrying now, the fatigue me.. and of coz the money no enough thinking...

The hunger for $$ has made me very stress.. the more i feel hungry, the more i stress.. some say its good.. some say its bad... i say... i feel that im isolating myself and bringing only work with me... sad huh? The funny and chirpy me seems to go missing for sometime.. Honestly, i havent been seeing myself laugh wholeheartedly for sometime... i guess ever since i left OC...

when i feel that my good friends are far away frm me, and that i reckon that in my life, there are many things i cannot rely on anyone else but myself.. So i kept everything within me... and now that im feeling lost, all the more i isolate myself to think things properly before i move on...

I was chatting with a friend of mine, and i told him what i have been doing and for once, tell someone that i have been isolating myself and having probs thinking what im thinking... he says that im having depression... :( I guess part of it is right, for some reason, when i realise that booze cant make me tired and sleep.. i start to work even harder and looonnnggeerr... And i cant work non stop like those days in OC... i tell u, im not depress about that part.. in fact, thats the only thing i feel the sense of satisfaction in life...

Right now, i think of nothing except my work. I dont even think about resting except the holiday trip i plan to go once i manage to take a 10k chq frm my hardwork... thinking about the saxophone i wanna get.. playing music that hums my heart... i tell u... that is heaven...

Nah, bgr, conflicts, polictics are not in my list.. no one is bullying me.. and some cases, i brought them upon myself. haha... Adventus is not like those banks i worked in.. over here is very straight forward.. everyone in the office is ok, we never wanted to cross over whoever's boundary... i try to be open to everybody, cause this is the best way to avoid misunderstandings ma...

im more depress with my life.. and now that i start questioning myself.. why would i wanna ruin my life with external factors instead of protecting my life and future right frm the beginning? This mistake, is not just admitting or apologising... it has left me a big scar and a big hole to fill. It takes time... but i need to speed up too...

God, if u can remember my existance... pls do not give up on me.. jus hold me tight and let me know u have not let me go ba... i felt neglected by u...

Some Recap of 2007...