Little Updates

Ok.... My boss decided to let me sign the transfer papers during my pregnancy... The entire story is really ridiculous... and i am totally sian over what had happened and what is happening... Having a baby is so tiring and still.. i gotta go thru all these... its a miracle how the depression didnt manage to come in...

Now going thru the 2nd trimester of the pregnancy liao... still tired, but i realise that i can pull thru the entire day feeling awake more frequently but i will end up sleeping at 9pm... hahaha... I am a water retained mommy.... whole body "hum hum"... damn ugly looking... my complexion is damn terok... Compared to the first trimester, i think i am starting to face appearance changes...!! hahaha.. thank god i no need to do sales liao... if not, my customers see my face, sure faint...

Was so angry with my boss... i forgot to update u guys on the baby progress!! haha... the last visit to the gynae, i managed to see my baby move! haha... waving and cycling... den the gynae was saying... "this is baby's future legs and hands.." den i got to hear the heartbeat again.. this time was so fast... guess because baby's exercising ba.. hahaha....

Baby is now 5cm... 4cm growth in a month... haha...

Havent been eating as much as my first trimester... i refrain myself from durains.. but i enjoy spicy food and fruits... haha... die also must eat fruits... Haiz... i hope my water retention go away fast...

Peeing in the middle of the night is so norm to me liao... Understand is that the baby is rest on my bladder, so i cant "ren" as long as before, or.. even there is little liquid, i still have to go toilet pee... I cant refrain from drinking water because it will make my rentention worse... so i have to bear with it lor...

Heard that 2nd tri should be the "enjoying" part of the pregnancy... everything is stable down (hormones especially).. my mood swings (temper) is subsiding.. regaining my energy.. but slowly... I hope everything is back to normal asap... :(

I miss the normal days.........

I may lose my job

Last Thurs, my boss tells me a thousand and one reasons why he is asking me to leave... Well, it all started with applying for 2 days leave... initially he asked me to choose 2 days to take leave in Oct before i got transferred... so i did.. then he said.. "den why not u do until this month end?"

Of course i questioned him la... den he told me about sales figures, attendance, attitude etc... u know, in sales, its like tat... they can just pick anything and u sure die... admin jobs are easier, u dun make big mistakes, u are safe...

then when i told him.. "u r the one who allow me to take leave de.. (with some recollections)" den he say "ok lor. the decision is up to u..." guess what? when i told him i wanna stay, he sms me "let me sort things out and decide. will let u know when u are back from ur leave"

hahaha... see... its obvious right?

I didnt want to post such things out.. but i guess i need to vent it out...

With my having a baby now, soon gonna be maternity... in fact, preg mommies very very tough to focus at work, very hard to keep on track because of the fatigue and stuff like tat... and having to lose ur job during ur pregnancy... i tell u... its disaster...

but if i really lose my job, i will get temp jobs to tong first... cause i still need an income ma... but i wont tender the job...

keep u posted

Changes Taking Place

I will be transferring to a inbound job due to my pregnancy.. for about 3 months - 4 months till i get to work from home then give birth and maternity... I dunno if i can take it, but i guess i just gotta bite that bullet and just pull thru these couple of months till everything's over...

At home, i feel really restricted... i need privacy, and i dun like to walk arnd the place with my in laws at home... see, when i do my laundry, my in laws grumble that i need to do them at the same time as them... When i close the doors, my in laws close theirs to show dismay... when i told them i need to hang out clothes that are not dry, she insist that they are dry and showed me one face...

I got nothing better to do at home... i am too tired to go out, if i do, i cant stay out walking for more than 3 hours, otherwise i get dizzy and lazy... When i go work, i feel so so so tired... But for the bucks, i gotta pull thru man...

Having to take naps has become so natural... I'm so afraid that my body will get used to naps... but my body needs that rest that is why i get so tired. even after naps, i still can go to bed at 10pm... (btw, i dun nap in the past)

Alvin works during the weekends, so i feel that im in jail and confined... i cant go back mom's place cause mom's busy with her stuff... den where else? At times, i really feel like checking into a good hotel, soak in the bath tub, go for a swim and just lie on the bed... but the thought of packing up and going back home brings me down again...

pre natal depression? nah... i think im going crazy but not to that extent... as i sit on my chair, how i wish my baby's right there in my arms... but the thought of my in laws stopping me from guiding my baby erks me...

I need a shelter, i need to get out of their sight... but how?

I need a break... Really....