I cannot tolerate zero, do u have many eca?

haha... these words are ringing in my ears....

i need sales, need numbers... i wanna be a "smart cow"

i worked hard, i not guilty... i know its coming. so pls b patient.

I dun give excuses, sales have no excuses... no number = havent been working

so dino, where are ur numbers??

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saw this vending machine in holland village.. hmm.. can they have something like tat for cig?

Some random pics of the colleagues prawning.. HAHA... we had a great night with all the chattings.. but was damn damn shag...


Back into my working files... on a Saturday morning... Yawns....

I feel that i am getting older day by day...

Sigh, even thou im jus 24, but i feel that there are many things that i shud be doing... See, im married, but i have no babies... I am working in sales, but im not saving enough... and many many examples.. Sometimes i wish im still 18

I need to know what i want, then throw those that i dun wish to keep... and live a clean and neat life... See, now that i know my debts are soon to clear, i need to set a goal.. something i wan to achieve...

So, after i settle my debts, hopefully in sept, i wanna to go for a course (casino management), den i will take up language courses like korean/jap/thai... thereafter, i wanna change my career directions. I wanna have children and i think im ready to have them while i am studying and working.. once i give birth and finish my course, i will go towards the career path that i want to go into and raise my kids and be someone.

i know i might take on a lot of hardships and stuff like tat... but i guess all these are easier than having debts for the past few years. Since i'm finally settling them... i think its time to cast some things into stones and move on. I also wanna retire early when sufficient money to take care of my kids and the rest of my life.

I dun wanna live too long... perhaps till 65 - 70 will do. its not easy to live your life alone. children will one day leave you, have their family... and you will be alone... its not nice living life alone anyway... so 65-70 shud be enough.

So... Why am i born to be a human, leading life that a human leads, doing things that many humans do? Sometimes i jus wonder, why humans need to do all these to survive? cant we all have a choice not to do it and not be hungry and poor?

Is this gonna be my turning point?

Many changes in the office, many feelings evolved... I dunno why, but... i feel that everyone is tired... as tired as me

Work is drowning me... Deals are floating around, i aint sure when can i cast them into stones and fulfill my dreams, and let this be my turning point for this pharse of my life...

Sigh

Anyway, went prawning with my team of colleagues yesterday night. To tell you honestly, i was really very shag at work le.. But i dont wanna be a spoiler... so i went together... Having to carry so many working files, laptop, my bag and stuff... I really cant move off earlier without any cabs or public transport... Plus to find a cab there is quite tough.

But who knows, i didnt become a spoiler yesterday, but i was too tired to even open my eyes to sms my colleague to tell him i cant make it for mj today... Im really sorry guys... If you happen to read this some where... Pai seh...

But honestly, i appreciate a lot of my colleagues for being forgiving and understanding... Prob because my colleagues know what kind of working environment we are in... There were times when we are in the midst of something, and the other person has to leave... Yet we never got pissed off.. There were times like this, where i was too tired and stress that they never blamed me for flying their kite.. (one of my colleague came frm tampines!)

Because they know what kinda things to expect and we all give and take...

Thanks pals!

I have never been so busy working in Adventus.. Only recently, when i got some cases handed over.. I began to understand that when you are busy, tired, stressed, pressured.. The only thing that warms your heart is when you realise that your friends never got pissed off for you being late.. Your colleagues listens, advices, understands for the biggest cock up you ever made, sending you to your early appointments, waking up a little earlier to make sure you wake up on time.. Giving a lift to office and help you to settle your misc. paper work... your family who never blame you for coming back home late from office and disturbing their sleep... Even at times when i doze off on the table working, they will pack my things in my bag and make sure i dun forget to bring them for work when i rushed for work the next day.

All these happenings, these little things that they might not even put in their hearts... Meant a lot to me... It was all of these important pple in my life that makes my stressful and tiring job a smoother and easier work flow.

Now i understand what it is like to have a bunch of buddies with me... And this is why, each time anyone leaves me, its very sad.

Jus for u!!

Weekends are over...

Sat and Sun always past so so fast wor... But at least today i got do laundry, housework and facial! haha... tiring week and more tiring starting from tomorrow onwards..

Jus any one of the cases comes in, it'll prob turn my life around... I pray really hard this time... Jia you dino!!

Surfing thru youtube.. some clips are really CUTE!! Check these out.. I love the whatever baby!!

Busy Busy

I feel very happy and challanging working here... each cases is different, each time u handle a case is always very fun and challanging... but then again, its damn tiring wor... but still its nice having this kinda feeling la..

Work work and work... im very scared i cannot hit my target this mth wor.. but if my cases do come in... Its gonna change my life... And yes, it is that impt to me.. each case is as impt.. i hope to get them right and close 'em off...

Tmr will be a siong day, got site survey to do... Elaine offer to help, but she got baby, i worried that she'll be tired, worry that if she tired she cannot rest cause site survey is a on going thing, we cannot expect customer to wait for us to rest de ma... Then a lot of walking, i scared she "over-walk"... She's like a big sister to me in the office, and althou we are always busy with our own stuff, we still care of each other de la... :) Its nice to know that you have someone like that in the office working with you.

But since 3 of my colleagues had to leave, i start feeling insecure wor... But i know Elaine and I will still keep in close contact if anything happens to us de.. **choy choy choy**

Ok la, back to my work liao... :)

Who am I now?

I had a chat with someone, and he mentioned that the Serene he is seeing now is Serene with shield.. afraid of being attacked and harmed.

I agree, totally agree... All the little scenes in the office is making everyone mentally drained.. I am drained, they are all drained too. After a 2 day leave, I told myself no matter what, i have to stand up and move on. And this entire week, i finally worked hard. I really did wor... cold calls, first appointments, PR my existing customers, salvaging some cases etc... I am happy that i am getting the hang of it again, but i also fear the polictics coming along... Showing more face in office naturally means that somehow, someone will get u involved... Sigh..

So maybe tomorrow, i will wake up early to go pray pray... cause my da yi ma coming soon ba, then i cannot go pray liao... mai tu liao... chop chop go pray.. por bi every mth 60k!! 平平安安，小人走远远，贵人多多来！！

Someone also tell me that he wants to see the "5 years ago" Serene wor... Lemme think... 5 years ago Serene... Happy go lucky, everyday roadshow, everyday work, every mth cross target, sales seldom struggle, every month shun shun li li de customers, every night got friends go out drinking, financially stable, had a bunch of good colleagues, had a good botak boss, hardworking lady leader... Smiling everyday, Happiness from the bottom of my heart...

Speaking of which, i very long never happy liao lei... every smile i give now, in my mind, im thinking about how to hit my target, where to get money to settle my debts and clear them once and for all, where to find time to do the things i wan and when i can start to walk towards my career path... Sounds simple? But the only reason for all the future goals to KIV is because of my debts wor... I have been suffering inside for years liao....

Someone offered help, but i am not sure if i can accept or not. Cause i might also indirectly hai dao ta wor... Sigh... I worry the consequences for Someone rather than my consequences not accepting...

Now, i become very defensive of myself, i wear a shield everyday everywhere.. I start to isolate myself and just be alone doing the things i want to do. I jus need time to adjust back.

Thou i know unless i settle the "choke", the water will not flow thru smoothly wor... Lets hope my hard work will pay off ba... I pray hard.. Whoever that is watching me and guiding me up there, i hope that you will guide me thru this crisis.. i need to get out of it by end 2008. Please...