Something That I Feel The Way It Is

I happen to read a post from a forum mommy about her lost of her perfect boy at 20 weeks... Almost the same situation im in... What hit me was the words she quoted.. Its exactly how i felt...
My condolences for her perfect boy..

Here it goes..

What will I say? - by Linda Sawley

I won't say I know how you feel - because I don't.
She've lost parents, grandparents, aunts and uncle, friends. But she've never lost a child. She came close, once. She had a miscarriage, but it's not the same. So how can I say I know how you feel?

I won't say you'll get over it - because you won't.
Life will have to go on. The washing, the ironing, the cooking, the cleaning, the command round. These chores will take your mind off your loved one, but the hurt will still be there. A small corner of your heart will grieve forever. Life carries on, but it will never be quite the same.

I wont say "Never mind, your other children will be a comfort to you - because they may not be.
Many mothers She've talked to say that they easily lose their temper with their remaining children. Some even feel resentful that they're alive and healthy, when the other child is not. Children can be cruel too. They may not understand death.

I won't say "Never mind, you're still young to have another baby" - because that wont help.
A new baby cannot replace the one you've lost. A new baby will fill your hours, keep you busy, and give you sleepness nights. But it will not be the one you've lost. And you mustn't try to pretend it will.

You may hear all these and other platitudes from your friends and relatives. They think they are helping. They don't know what else to say. You will find out who are your true friends at this time. Many will avoid you because they can't face you. They'll cross the road to avoid talking to you. Otherss will make effort to talk to you. They'll talk about the weather, the holidays, the school concert, but never about your child - never about you and how you are coping.

So what will I say?
I will say I'm here. I care. Anytime. Anywhere.
I'll cry with you if need be.
I'll talk about your loved one.
I wont mind how long you grieve.
I won't tell you to pull yourself together.
I'll sit with you during birthday and anniversaries.

No, I don't know how you feel - but with sharing perhaps I will learn a little of what you are going through. And perhaps you will feel comfortable with me, and find your burden has eased.