Life is full of ups n downs for me... its never easy moving on wif life... Losing Julius was like tearin my skin off my flesh.. Julius is never forgotten.. I still talk to Celeste about her kor kor...
But well.. its a battle between u n urself.. No matter how painful u feel, the world never stop revolving... u cannot just stop ur pace n start grieving on n on.. u gotta move on too...
I keep reminding myself tat i cannot give up on my life cause theres a lot of pple relying on me in many ways... I shudnt just look into a box but i have to be more brave to face a bigger picture... I cannot fall... even if i cry, it shud only be a while...
Dun self pity. Cause it will make u worse... if i din pick myself up, i wont haf Celeste too.. i wont learn to treasure my hubby more. I wont learn to cherish wat i already haf...
i remind myself everyday that everything happen for a reason.. n tats y i pick up the courage to share my experience wif everyone. only to let them understand more n to b more cautious... of coz, to encourage pple who lost their babies to pick up n move on..
Jus remember, the world will not stop revolving because of u.. have faith in urself...
Lin, i am in no position to qns your abortion or why u abort.. but let me share with u something...
Babies are gift from God.. theres no such thing that u cannot afford a baby if u can still have proper meals everyday.
When i had Julius or Celeste.. im broke everyday.. my hubby's broke too.. When i had my emergency Csect, i still gotta borrow to clear off the medical fees. If not for my relative's ang bao, i dun think i will be able to pay off my bills.. My gynae check ups and even for Celeste's injections, have to be scheduled on hubby's pay day.. and we have probs feeding ourselves at times.. If i were to attend a wedding that mth... its even worse.
Well.... we still made it thru ah.. Celeste is 3.5mths old.. shes wearing mamy poko, have her own cot, got toys even thou they are 2nd hand.. shes breast fed and she still smiles at me everyday like a super happy baby!
Ask me how i manage to do that? i seriously dunno. Faith i suppose. I have faith that i can provide my kids the best I CAN... It doesnt mean i need to buy branded and new stuff.. im buying 2nd hand toys and stuff for Celeste.. I buy things that can help her development and can last for a long time (till next bb i suppose)... and best of all... i can sell them off if i dont need..!
If theres a will, theres a way.... God gave u a child but its not ur decision to keep or not.. its not up to you to decide too. If God gives u a baby, u will definately have a way to keep it.. believe it or not... it happened to me.. cause i believe it will be that way.
who is not having $$ difficulties? well.. i have a pile of bills and many things i have pay too.. But still... life goes on..
Like i say, im really in no position to ask about ur abortion but i hope u dont do it again.. if u dun plan to haf a baby.. then use precaution.. dont mentally torture urself and go for abortions.. seriously... its a sin..
Brace up and stand up Lin... Face the problem. Accept the consequences and move on. Take a deep breath and step out of that dark hole.. U will be surprise what u will see at the end of the tunnel.
Good luck!
Http://celesteloh.blogspot.com
Http://mymumknowsbest.blogspot.com/
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